This was an answer to a friend’s question: Why is it more dangerous for AMABs to express femininity vs AFABs to express masculinity?
Masculinity is the default and only acceptable expression in society. An amab showing femininity implies weakness. A masculine expressing afab will be more accepted, but people will try to push femininity on them because afabs are supposed to be weak and easily controlled. It may seem that femininity is worshiped in society, but more like afabs are pressured to be pretty and femme and perfect for amab masculine persons to enjoy.
The mere act of AFABs taking control and being independent is such a cultural revolution that people do not realize just how hard it is, and how powerful it is. People see strong, independent AFABs as a threat to their existence and control. Even many cisgender women fear the change, and are afraid that it won’t be acceptable to be a mother, a housewife, or to rely on their husbands. What they don’t realize is that a relationship is BOTH partners depending on each other: not because they have to, but because that’s what people do when they love each other; they help ease their partner’s stress and burdens. Cisgender women need to be taught that a cultural revolution on gender does not threaten their way of life. There’s nothing wrong with an AFAB looking to an AMAB to protect them (there are cisgender women who actually think that AFABs becoming independent will make them look weak and pathetic if they turn to a man for help).
Whilst fighting against gender roles, we have to remind people that it is okay to fit into them. And that, even more important, it is completely okay for an AMAB to turn to an AFAB for help. An AMAB is not weak for seeking an AFAB’s help, or vice versa. Gender roles are harmful to everybody, and every gender. People tend to forget that AMABs are affected as well.